AS a Leeds United fan, I am all too well aware of how financial mismanagement in football can lead to disaster and meltdown. A total of 25 points deducted – costing a promotion – for £40 million worth of debts that led to administration seemed harsh at the time, and still rankles with me today. Especially in light of the fact that clubs like Manchester United and Liverpool have far higher debts yet, because of the rules surrounding football finance, go unpenalised. It has just been announced that Manchester United have debts of £716 million. Now according to my calculations that should equate to a 447.5 points deduction. It’s only fair isn’t it? Will that happen? Not a chance.
See you soon…
HELLO all and a Happy New Year. I hope you haven’t gained too much weight over the festive season. There are certainly a number of people in York and beyond who won’t have piled on the pounds over Christmas because, quite simply, they don’t have enough pounds to spend on the feasts and booze that we take for granted.
When Father Tim Jones pointed this out in, what was in my opinion, an excellent and very well thought out sermon, he was – quite predictably – attacked by a number of brainless sheep who almost certainly hadn’t even read the sermon properly or, if they have, do not possess the mental agility to understand its meaning. If I may digress slightly, I found it very disappointing that the York Press chose to highlight this story in a sensationalist “Red Top” style of journalism that was better suited to the Daily Star and its ilk. Anyway my thoughts on the decline of The Press are already well documented elsewhere. Today Father Tim has responded in our local media with further, well considered, opinion that will probably upset the sheep once again. I do hope so!
It says a lot about Father Tim that he chose not to prosecute the moronic Martin Stot who, in his finite wisdom, decided it would be a good idea to spend his dole money on 30 tins of spaghetti and ravioli and throw it at the vicar. I can’t guarantee I would have reacted to this waste of space in such a Christian manner. It may not be gourmet cuisine but I’m sure that the food wasted by Stot could have been gratefully accepted by exactly the sort of unfortunates that father Tim was trying to bring to our awareness.
Now I could never be accused of being particularly liberal but it is undeniable that there are groups in society who are so desperate that stealing is the only option they can see. Now hands up who would prefer someone in that state of mind to mug their granny outside the post office than to slip a few cuts of meat and some bread under their jacket in Tesco?
It’s a no brainer really.
See you soon…
Tags: father, jones, lawrence, martin, sermon, spaghetti, stot, tim, York
This is my final blog post before the Christmas holiday so, in order to prevent you upsetting anyone, I hereby leave you with the definitive guide to having a Politically Correct Christmas. All you need to do is follow the rules below and send them to your friends and family to make sure they don’t fall foul of the PC Police either this Christmas!!!
1. Don’t ever refer to ‘Christmas’ as ‘Christmas’ – call it ‘a winter festival’ or ‘the festive period’ at all times. The ‘C-word’ is very offensive and can seriously upset some council officials.
2. Don’t send Christmas cards to your friends and family as this could offend them. If you have to send a card, make sure the picture is not religious in any way and is not of Father Christmas or anything else to do with Christmas. Also, ensure that the card says “Season’s Greetings” and not the highly offensive term “Merry Christmas”.
3. Don’t allow your children or grandchildren to go into Santa’s den in a shopping centre for a present no matter how much they beg and plead. You can tell them it is for their own good as Santa will be a man and men can’t be trusted – ever!
4. Don’t go to a pantomime – they are sexist and homophobic and should be avoided at all costs. They are also a health and safety risk as you could be hit by a flying sweet when the cast throws the traditional bounty of confectionery into the audience.
5. Don’t worry if your child or grandchild is not in a nativity play – this is normal in this multi-faith age. If the school does have a nativity play, don’t be too concerned either if the characters are not quite as you had expected – snowpeople (yes – those well known non gender-specific snow creations) have been know to take part in the nativity scene itself right there after the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem. This is not ‘ridiculous’, it is a very good example of the ‘inclusive modern Britain’ in which we live.
6. Don’t play “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” as this is a highly racist song.
7. If you end up singing Christmas carols (which is not advisable as they are far too Christian for ‘the festive period’) be sure to sing “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlepeople” so as not to upset women.
8. Don’t film your children at their “festive period” parties or when they are out ice-skating or opening their presents in case the film or pictures fall into “the wrong hands”. It does not matter if this means that you will not have captured those important memories and that you cannot send the pictures to family who are not with you at this special time. This is a very serious child protection issue and grandparents, amongst others, cannot be trusted.
9. Don’t make your Christmas pudding the old fashioned way with a lucky sixpence in the middle because if a member of your family or your visiting friends choke on it they could sue you for a breach of health and safety regulations as the sixpence would be deemed to be an “avoidable risk”.
10. Don’t give sexist presents to people – ties and socks are not exclusively male present items and should be given to women too in this age of equality!
Which just leaves me to wish you a Merry C-Word and a Happy onset of the generally accepted calendar year but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures!!!
All the best to my friends and enemies. You know who you are!
See you in 2010…
PROMINENT anti-Derwenthorpe campaigner Mark Warters has, once again, been unfairly criticised by ill-informed and imbecilic York Press readers.
I disagree that Mark Warters has done anything other than exercise his right to object to what are ill perceived plans. I could pontificate all day about the politics of social housing. In fact I agree that social housing is needed, not just in York but across the UK, but the need for something doesn’t give the right for amateur politicians (Galloway) to ride roughshod with their ill-informed and arrogant plans. The part of York that is earmarked for “Derwenthorpe” is prime green belt land and – forgive me if I sound snobbish – separates Osbaldwick from Tang Hall. The Derwenthorpe estate will do nothing other than provide very nice houses for not-very-nice people. It will be a sink estate within 20 years, such is the way this country is in decline.
Instead of JRF and the like bleating about the need for social housing, why don’t they for once stop and consider that for every social housing tenant there is a neighbour? Granted, not all social housing tenants are anti-social but knowing how allocations work there is a great chance that Derwenthorpe residents will be undesirable neighbours and for that alone I applaud Mark Warters. I just wish he’d be honest about his concerns and not bring the environment into it.
He doesn’t want scum in his neighbourhood just as I and everyone else doesn’t.
See you soon…
TWO weeks ago my mother had the second of her cataracts removed at York District Hospital. She is 70-years-old and, to be fair, a bit doddery but nevertheless…
Today she had to go back to the hospital for her check up and she walked to the Stonebow to get the Number 6 bus service provided by the ironically named “First York”. When she arrived at the bus stop the Number 6 was already there, stationary, but the doors were closed. She tapped on the door only for the driver to open the door and announce “I can’t let you on because I’m indicating to move away”. This despite the fact he was completely blocked in by a bus in front and oncoming traffic. My mum said he didn’t move for at least three minutes after his refusal to allow her on.
I really hope something untoward happens to this jobsworth. Even if it wasn’t my mother, then his attitude stinks.
Letter of complaint to follow.
See you soon…
The Rook and Gaskill, which is one of my regular haunts, has been nominated for the York Press Real Ale Pub Of The Year Award. It certainly deserves the prize as it regularly serves a huge range of superbly kept beers and is always a great place to have a good social.
The next beer festival is coming up on the weekend of December 11-14 so you could do worse than pop along and sample some fine ales.
For those, like me, who are fans of Neil Young. This coming Monday (November 30) there is the next listening party at 9:30pm where “Live Rust” will be played very loudly.
Maybe see you there…
The postmen are quick to go on strike but don’t feel any sympathy for them.
I had forgotten about the industrial action until last night, when I realised I needed to post a letter to Plymouth. Knowing that one of my neighbours is a postman, with a young family who can ill afford to lose pay through a strike, I popped round to his house and offered him £2.00 – more than six times the price of a stamp – to deliver my letter. To my surprise he swore at me and slammed the door in my face!
It’s no wonder this country is in such a mess with such lazy people employed in the public sector!
See you soon…
I've been described as everything from Stephen Fry to a Bollywood bad guy!
Yesterday I had a terrific experience as an extra in a new film, Elevator Gods (see 2006 trailer and promo), written, produced, directed and starring Tadcaster’s own Peter Hunt, who has ploughed a small fortune - and more - into his dream. I was under the impression that all I would have to do was mime drums in 80’s tribute band, Spandau Cafe, but little did I know I would actually be in a full scene standing next to Ryan Pope (Ideal) , and directly opposite Stuart Wolfenden, former Corrie actor and the star of one of my all-time favourite films, Dead Man’s Shoes (he plays Herbie, the drug dealer who, at the start of the film, asks Paddy Considine what he’s looking at, only to receive the classic reply “You you c**t”!).
Without giving too much away, the scene is set at the roll call for the Battle Of The 80’s Bands competition, where my band, Spandau Cafe, have a confrontation with bitter rivals Reflex (Duran Duran). I estimate that the scene will last about 2 minutes at most – based on the fact it took about 3 hours to shoot! Incidentally the organisers of the competition are local lottery winners with an 80’s obsession, played by comedians Trevor and Simon (remember them on Going Live? “Swing Your Pants”?)
In a bizarre occurrence it turns out that Peter Hunt named the film after a band called Elevator Gods that played around York in the mid 1990’s. Guess who the drummer in that band was? I gave Peter my battered old Gods tee shirt and he has vowed to get someone, possibly Ralph Brown (Withnail & I), who plays the character Midge Ultra, to wear it in the film.
In the end the shoot, at the Riley-Smith Hall, Tadcaster, over-ran by hours so we didn’t get to film our live performance scenes which means I have to go back – probably in the new year – to finish off before Peter completes the final cut and takes it off to Cannes Film Festival where hopefully it will get the distribution deal it deserves and give lil’ old me a cameo in what might just be the next Full Monty. Now I can grow my beard back!
See you soon…
Tags: elevator gods, film, peter hunt, ralph brown, ryan pope, stuart wolfenden, tadcaster, trevor and simon
In my first attempt at promoting one of my great loves, live music, I have booked one of my favourite artists to appear at The Waggon and Horses on Lawrence Street on Friday November 6th. His name is Ryan Spendlove and he’s the best acoustic bluesman I’ve seen anywhere in this neck of the woods. Take a listen at his MySpace page and find out for yourself.
Ryan will be playing two sets starting at 9:00pm and it is FREE ENTRY! The Waggon has a great range of real ales and is open til late so get yourselves down. If the evening is as successful as I expect then I will be organising another music night in December.
Ryan is the former frontman for The Blueskins and hails from Wakefield. His music reminds me a lot of the acoustic Led Zeppelin stuff with obvious influences from Robert Johnson and Leadbelly among others. I saw him a couple of weeks ago at City Screen where the crowd were treated to a stunning cover of Bert Jansch’s classic, Needle Of Death. You really do have to see him live to appreciate the power of his voice and slide guitar work. Get yourself down on November 6th. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
“Ex-Blueskins frontman Ryan Spendlove brought the evening to a close with some spellbinding, ass kicking blues, and slide guitar playing that was second to none.” – The Press, December 2008
See you there…
STOP PRESS: Ryan Spendlove is playing Meltons Too on Walmgate next Wednesday October 7th.
Tags: acoustic, blues, Ryan Spendlove, waggon and horses, York
Did you know that babysitting is now illegal? Yes folks it’s true. If you look after someone’s kids for more than two hours, as a favour, then you are breaking the law and will probably be sent to prison if you don’t register as a childminder.
The silly fools at Ofsted have decreed that reciprocal agreements where friends look after each others kids while they go back to work constitutes “a reward”. Therefore before you can start such a sensible scheme you have to go through a number of checks – costing you money, of course – where I assume some meddling social worker will check every minute detail about your life in order to minimize the risk of you accidentally touching your friends daughters arm while you look after her, thus making you a paedophile.
Check out this story here to read about how even police officers can’t babysit. Pathetic!
See you soon…
Tags: babysitting, Nanny State, Ofsted
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